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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28795431">The Arbiter</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH'>NanakiBH</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M, POV First Person, Past Lives, Regret, Reincarnation, Soliloquy, best enjoyed now, rampant speculation tbh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:54:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28795431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Like a rusted gun with a broken trigger that can no longer fire...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ephemer/Player Character (Kingdom Hearts), Sora/Xehanort (Kingdom Hearts)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Arbiter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dark Road put Player/Ephemer thoughts in my head... I followed the thoughts... ...It's just past life Xehanort/Sora, isn't it? So now you know what you're getting into here. There's also Demyx=MoM (MoMyx) indulgence. As is my want. I managed to get through this without making any Type-0 references... besides the summary. And the title.</p><p>I really am getting kind of invested in Player/Ephemer now. I can't believe I overlooked what was going on with them before. I see it now. I dig it. I might write something that focuses more on the two of them in the past. For now, I just really wanted to hear Old Nort's thoughts on *gestures at fic* <i>all this stuff.</i> If Nomura won't let him say these things, then ho ho here I go~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As a young boy, I laid on the beach and dreamed many dreams. A whole lifetime seemed to exist only there behind my eyelids; adventures in worlds unknown to me, encounters with strange and dangerous creatures, the day-to-day life in that town...</p><p>	You were there.</p><p>	I remember. Sometimes I would awaken with my hand outstretched as if to grasp yours, as if you would appear like you had back then to take me with you – to somewhere beyond the visible world. I sometimes half-expected the sky to open up and let me through to the place where I'd find you.</p><p>	I knew you couldn't have only been a dream. I was never that imaginative.</p><p>	I had simple reasons for leaving. I wanted to confirm that the worlds from my dreams were real, but I also wanted to see you. Looking back, I realize that a part of me always knew that you would be there in the same place as me, where I first stared at the sky and remembered you. I wonder if you ever realized that we were connected. That's your power, after all; the ability to engrave yourself upon the hearts of the ones you meet.</p><p>	Time passed relentlessly and I feared what I was losing with each second that slipped away.</p><p>	I found a new home. I made new friends. They weren't you.</p><p>	Eraqus was familiar. I think that was what drew us together. It was more than a matter of place and time.</p><p>	I probably never gave him the due he deserved. There was something new there, but I only felt the repetition of each day as I continued searching for the answers to the mysteries of a life that had already ended. I was looking for you, but I was always looking for myself as well. In hindsight, I can see what I'd abandoned and how foolish I'd been, but I know what it was worth.</p><p>	Everything.</p><p>	He was right, that man. I couldn't let a false light decide the future. I had to make sure it was yours.</p><p>	That very well may have been the reason for my existence; to meet you, to find you again, and to make sure that you would rescue the future from the fate that man had foreseen. I always believed in you. I told you as much, though you probably never believed me. I became your enemy, after all. That was my role.</p><p>	That man... What was his role? Was it really just to meet me, to advise me so that I would fulfill my role? The answer is one I may never know. Perhaps I was never meant to know. I accept that. I understand. But the future should be different for you now. I believe you can find the answer.</p><p>	Ever since I watched him leave, I wanted to see him again. I searched through the depths of the darkness and that's where I found him – a boy comfortably nestled in the terrifying emptiness where light, darkness, and all were indistinguishable. He became the first new member recruited to the original Organization. He wasn't himself anymore, though – just like how you were a new you. Nevertheless, even if he was useless, I wanted to keep him close like the others.</p><p>	I'm sure that you two will become intertwined. I have a feeling he wanted to meet you just as much as I did.</p><p>	Will you understand what we were trying to accomplish? You may end up resenting him for everything. If he was who I believed, then any anger you feel may go unnoticed. It won't reach him. That's what makes the emptiness so frightening; everything that enters a heart of pure nothingness will be transformed into equal nothingness. Despite whatever appearance he presented to the outside, I believe it was that essential nature of his which made him suited for making decisions no ordinary person would have been able to make.</p><p>	You can hate him if you want. And maybe you should, even if it seems meaningless. Shout it at him. Make him know that he isn't blameless. Every person carries the weight of decisions made in the past, so he isn't as innocent as he looks. Your clear eyes can see through the untruth. Make him remember, and then hate him until he feels your hatred.</p><p>	You were never the type of person who could hate others so easily, so I know that this is asking a lot, but your unique power to connect with others means that you're the only one who can do this. I fear what might become of the future if it's left in the hands of a person who feels no guilt. Teaching him pain may be the only way to make him learn the meaning of kindness.</p><p>	It's not like I can tell you this now, though... My time is over. I spent it irresponsibly. I can only hope that these wishes will somehow reach you, wherever you are.</p><p>	I could laugh. I spent my life trying to remember the past, and only now that my life is over does it seem I'm finally able to remember.</p><p>	'Remember' might not be the word. My thoughts have joined together with those of the past. It's the most peculiar feeling.</p><p>	This may be the final end for me. There are still questions that linger, but I finally understand what he tried to impress upon me all those years ago.</p><p>	The world is filled with endless questions. When one mystery is solved, another dozen questions appear as a result. The more you know, the more you realize you don't know.</p><p>	Happiest is the person who is satisfied with what they know. That is the uncommon wisdom of a moronic good-for-nothing. You'd do best to heed it. Wherever you are, whatever truths you may discover about the reality that surrounds you, keep your eyes forward and focused on the things that have always been important to you. Don't let the world lead you astray the way that I did. If you devote your life to pursuing the mysteries that ever continue to multiply just out of your grasp, your life will go to waste before you realize.</p><p>	I simply wish that things could have been different...</p><p>	It's selfish for me to even think such a thing now, I'm sure. I was the cause of many problems. But I had to be. It couldn't have been any other way. What I longed for was a life that had never truly existed. It seems a peaceful, uneventful future was never meant to be ours in any lifetime.</p><p>	But that's what I wanted. And I admit, it's something I still desire. I accept this ending as one deserved, but I may never feel satisfied.</p><p>	You have new friends now. A new life. I should be happy to have played a part in it. I'm glad that you knew me, even if you didn't remember me.</p><p>	But I wish...</p><p>	I wish we could have gone together.</p><p>	And so, for as long as this longing exists within me, I hope that some trace of me may still exist and find its way to you once more. It could be another thousand years, another thousand worlds, but if you're there, that's where I'd also like to be. Even if you are a new you with more new friends, I hope that you can save a place for me beside you.</p><p>	My oldest friend...</p>
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